Every once in a while, everyone has a bad night’s sleep. You toss and turn, and no matter how hard you try, sleep refuses to come. As uncomfortable as this is, having a bad night’s sleep every once in a while is actually normal. Director of Health & Wellness, Dr. Sharleen O’Brien, previously worked as a psychologist and helped many patients suffering from insomnia. Below, she has laid out tips and tricks for those frustrating nights when you just can’t sleep. Remember, as with all behavioral changes, don’t give up too easily! Try and stick with these tips for at least a couple of nights. However, if you lay awake in bed unable to sleep more frequently than not, consider speaking with your therapist or healthcare provider.
Tip #1: DO NOT check the time. Waiting for sleep can feel like an eternity and although it may be tempting to see how long you’ve been lying in bed awake, this will most likely make it even harder for you to get to sleep. Checking the clock and counting hours awake can increase your anxiety, which prevents your mind from entering the relaxation state it needs for sleep. Before bed, set an alarm for the time you are supposed to wake up and consider putting your phone out of arm's reach so you are not tempted to check it while lying in bed.
Tip #2: DO get up from your bed and engage in a relaxing activity. If you feel that you have been awake for around 20 minutes in bed (based on your estimate NOT by checking the actual time), it is actually better to get away from your bed in order to break the association between your bed and being awake. During this time, it is essential that you only do relaxing activities! Although these differ for everyone, a good rule of thumb is to avoid school or work-related activities. Try reading a book, journaling, drawing, or stretching instead. Do this until you start to feel drowsy, and then return to bed. (Note: if it is hard for you to notice when you are drowsy, try focusing on some of your involuntary behaviors. Are you rubbing your eyes? Did you have to read the same sentence 3 times?) All of these are little tell-tale signs that you have begun to enter stage 1 sleep! If you get back to bed and find yourself wide awake, repeat this process until you can get to sleep.
Developing a positive relationship with your bed is crucial, especially after having multiple sleepless nights. Assume a mindset that associates the bed with elements of rest, relaxation, and comfort. Reserve this space for sleep and sex, and avoid doing other activities here that might be work or stress related (for example, doing homework). Engaging in a relaxing activity after difficulty falling asleep can help solidify this positive relationship so you do not begin to link time spent in bed with sleeplessness.
Tip #2.5: Getting out of bed in the middle of the night may be harder for some than others, especially depending on one’s home environment. Thus, if you feel as if getting out of bed might not be the right decision for you, try this tip instead! If you can’t fall asleep, try propping yourself up in a relaxed position on your pillows or bending your knees at a 90-degree angle. Experiment with keeping your eyes open. Maybe even change your posture to sit up straight and remove your blankets. Keep sitting up until you begin to feel drowsy. What we are trying to do here is acknowledge that your body doesn’t want to sleep and remove the emotional pressure behind forcing it.
Suni, E. (2022, August 10). How to sleep better. Sleep Foundation. Retrieved August 23, 2022, from https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/healthy-sleep-tips
Tip #3: DO NOT do a stimulating activity. No matter how tired you are, stimulation can keep you awake throughout the night. Although avoiding this behavior may seem obvious to some, many of the activities we think are relaxing can actually be stimulating. Try to avoid any activity related to planning or problem solving, such as homework or checking social media. Even something such as planning your perfect vacation can actually be a simulating activity making it harder for your mind to enter the relaxation state.
Tip #4: DO NOT try and force yourself back to sleep. For people who wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, try this visualization exercise. Remember, although you are not asleep, lying down and feeling relaxed will more likely aid in being able to get some level of sleep.
Begin to let your muscles relax and release your mind from the pressure of having to get to sleep. Imagine that you are simply lounging around on vacation. Lying on the beach with your eyes closed. Breath deeply into your belly. Imagine you are taking in the fresh air and ocean breeze. With each exhale, feel your body becoming calm, peaceful. Sense the warmth of the sun on your skin. Visualize the gentle reflection of light on the ocean water, birds flying overhead. Listen to the waves crashing on the shore. Deeply exhale and imagine yourself sinking deeper into the warm sand. Relax here and simply drift off to sleep.
Tip #5: DO explore what support you need to help you sleep. Listening to an audio book or meditation can help create a state of relaxation. White noise or nature sounds work for some. You can utilize various apps or recordings on YouTube to help ease your mind. Check out a free body scan meditation on the H&W website here:
Dealing with insomnia can be discouraging and can take some time to create change, so be patient with yourself. This is not something you can solve in one night: it is a process. Give the tips above more than a 1-night chance, even if they don’t feel like they are working. Also, try to incorporate other behavioral changes to your sleep schedule by checking out the “Bedtime Routines,” “Caffeine,”and “Alcohol and Cannabis” modules of the Sleep Challenge.
Chronic insomnia can be associated with elevated anxiety, depression, weight gain, and immune deficiency among other things. If after a couple of days you find that these tips are truly not working for you and your insomnia persists, talk to your therapist or healthcare provider. However, if you are in need of more immediate help, here are a few recommendations if you are having long-term sleep trouble (more than just a few nights of poor sleep):
1. Only go to bed when you are sleepy, and wake up at the same time regardless of whether or not you have slept (this will make you more likely to fall asleep the following night). Establishing a regular routine is incredibly important.
2. Set an alarm for the next morning and avoid looking at your clock throughout the night, even when experiencing insomnia.
3. Long naps (over 25-30 minutes) can make it more difficult to fall asleep at night for some. If you need a nap, we recommend taking on for 20-30 minutes to provide some relief.
4. Sometimes sleeping becomes more difficult with each sleepless night because of increased anxiety. You may think about the following day: Will I be able to get through it? In these cases developing an acceptance mindset can be helpful. Think about the last night you had difficulty sleeping. Was it hard? Probably. But did you get through it? Yes. Overthinking sleep can have the opposite effect, therefore learning to accept what comes your way can help your body and mind ease back into the natural progression of sleep. See the meditation module for more relaxation techniques.
5. Use a sleep diary: record an estimate of hours slept each night. This can be helpful to show your doctor and make a plan moving forward.
6. There are many behavioral therapies out there such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Sleep (ACT), Sleep Restriction Therapy (SRT), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI). The therapies stated above are provided by inexperienced professional. Talk to your health care provider for more information.
What are some of the causes of insomnia (long term trouble sleeping)?
1. Psychological conditions such as anxiety, depression, or stress
2. Sleep disorders such as restless leg syndrome or sleep apnea
3. Other illnesses or conditions such as chronic pain, hot flashes, or asthma
4. Neurological disorders
5. Caffeine or nicotine use
6. Menstrual cycle
7. Side effect of medication (antidepressants, steroids)
Glovinsky, P. B., & Spielman, A. J. (1991). Sleep restriction therapy. In Case studies in insomnia (pp. 49-63). Springer, Boston, MA.
Salari, N., Khazaie, H., Hosseinian-Far, A., Khaledi-Paveh, B., Ghasemi, H., Mohammadi, M., & Shohaimi, S. (2020). The effect of acceptance and commitment therapy on insomnia and sleep quality: A systematic review. BMC neurology, 20(1), 1-18.
Harvard Medical School. (2009, February 1). Insomnia: Restoring restful sleep. Harvard Health. Retrieved August 1, 2022, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/insomnia-restoring-restful-sleep
Suni, E. (2022, March 11). PMS and insomnia. Sleep Foundation. Retrieved August 23, 2022, from https://www.sleepfoundation.org/insomnia/pms-and-insomnia#:~:text=PMS%20often%20causes%20sleeping%20problems,sleep%20much%20more%20than%20normal.
Below are some book recommendations available for free through UCSB
If you are not much of a book person, you may want to try listening to episode two of the Huberman Lab podcast, Master your Sleep & be More Alert when Awake.
If you are experiencing chronic insomnia and feel you do not have access to the care you need, please contact student health social work services. As an additional resource, check out End the Insomnia Struggle by Alisha L. Brosse and Colleen Ehrenstrom, ABPP. This book includes a medication-free program aimed to help individuals with long term sleep difficulties and should be used with the guidance of a medical professional.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.